Fresh - Fresher - Freshness!

This kinda looks like Jacque. (if you tilt your head and squint. while punching yourself in the head)

Now, thanks to one of my favorite relatives (actually *all* my relatives are my favs.  They are positively THE BEST.) I can live the dream.

Isaac is a Cartographer.   He either makes cartoons or draws maps I’m not really sure, but either way I’m a winner.

So here’s the text of an e-mail I sent to him in reply to a comment he made to me about getting lost while trying to find a bike trail.

Dear “relative whom is a cartographer/geographer by trade”,  It’s always nice to correspond with you and hear how your travels and travails are being espoused.  It is with great anticipation that I plan my trip to the far reaches of the New World they call New Zealand.  I worry that they may have man-eating women there or even worse, only Coors Light {shudder!}.  I am inquiring if at all possible if I may impose upon your skills.  You see, I have a habit of losing my way.  After recently trying to find a trail in my own back-country, getting lost and being forced to eat a non-organic granola bar.  I was wondering if you could find it in your heart to use your prodigious skills to map me a bicycle route to New Zealand.

In using these series of tubes called “the internet” I discovered that a cartographer/geographer by trade makes maps, cartoons or possibly clothing optional home movies.  I most assuredly do not need the former.  The second is a distinct possibility but the first is what I so desire.

Dearest Relative, my skills at composing this letter using old-time wording is waning and is becoming tiresome.  If at all possible please assist me with your skills with finding this exotic locale.  If that is not of your pleasure maybe you can use geographer skills to help me identify the rocks found in my panniers.

Fare Thee Weell,

Your relative in the Far, Far West

Jacque (Jack)

So, we’ll see what come of this.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

I’m a pretty cool headed guy (unless faced with conflict, but we’ll save that for another post) it can take quite a bit to get my blood pressure up.

Take for example my job as a Firefighter/EMT.  When my pager goes off for a call I kinda get up stretch and while I don’t “amble” to the apparatus I do move quickly and keep my head about me.

It can be kinda funny to watch the younger folk blast off like a Saturn-5 rocket and just about run.  That type of response almost always generates a “Slow down! It’ll still be burning (or bleeding) when you get there” type of reply.

What got me into the emergency services in the first place were two television shows.  Adam-12 and Emergency.  All these folks were the best.  They were out there helping people.  Getting into action and enjoying their job.

My favorite though was Emergency.  When they received an alarm I distinctly remember getting really jazzed upon hearing that distinct klaxon they used.  In fact some 33 years later I can recall just about jumping while watching the show as they jog to the trucks for a response.  It was like a couple of hands reached inside my guts and gave my adrenal glands a good squeeze.

When I receive my own brand of alarm klaxon my adrenals don’t respond at all, my brain does (mainly to keep my butt alive).

Then it happened.  I found this great ringtone for my cell phone and installed it.  And the first time my phone rang with it I just about jumped out of my skin.

It made me laugh.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

After reading Jason’s blog over at 110km I seem to be having the same issue.   Just not riding as much as I did before and the Firefighter Academy is slowing down my beer drinking.

My riding is slowing down mainly because it’s cooled off a lot.  While the cold weather (and even the snow) doesn’t effect commuting, it does slow down my pleasure rides.

That being said, the same person that brought you the “Who Loves Ya?” advice, brings you a “Why make a mistake when you can let Jacque make it for you?” note.

You see, last Sunday I decided to take a ride out by Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge.  John had made a great post about a nice short ride that seemed great for a blustery fall day.  So I loaded up Bruce and hit the road.

Like an episode of Gilligan’s Island my short pleasurable bicycle ride turned into a 2-hour tour.

Where the hell am I?

The map below gives you a pretty good idea of what should have been a pretty decent ride.  “A” is where I started from, “B” is where I wanted to be and “1″ is where I ended up.

Holy Crap! What Happened?

Ahh yes, what did happen?

You see, I neglected to take a basic road trip necessity with me.  A map.  Oopsy!

Kinda like not testing out the new piece of equipment, the result was not good.  In discussing it with John I told him what road I took.  His reply…”Mullinex Road bad.  Cheney-Plaza Road good.”

A bit of good did come out of it though.  I discoverd the Columbia Plateau Trail.  It looked really cool, after I do Turnbull I’m gonna do that.  And you know what?  I’ll be able to find it.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

I’ve got some new neighbors.  The dude is from New Zealand.   So I did some research so that when I talk to him I can at least seem intelignt smart.

What a cool sounding and looking place.  I’ve added it to places to go and ride my bike.

That is all.

Jacque - Out

–Edit–

Just did some more even more important research.  The have local beer and micro-breweries.  Phew!  {wipes sweat from brow}

Brought to you by:  Me!  Because, hey! Who loves ya?

Just some quick information for all ya’ll out there that just may like to bicycle and possibly have equipment with the bicycle in case you have to do a repair.  Such as, I don’t know.  Let’s say a pump.

Ok, you’ve got this great new bicycle and decide to outfit it with…well, a pump.

Not pictured, the type of pump you'd have with your bicycle.

You very well may be riding along some day and decide to put some air in the tires.

You stop, twist off the valve cap and grab your pump.  What’s that!?  What kind of valve is that on your tires?

No sweat, you distinctly recall that the box on the the pump came in said it’ll fit most type of tube fittings.

But wait!  Did you test the pump out before you threw it on the bike and hit the road? Noooooo, you didn’t.

Oopsy!  As you sit along the side of the road, baking in the sun you’ll think to yourself.  Dang, I should have tested it out before I hit the road.   But that’s ok.  At least the tube is patched.

Not that this happened to me or anything.  It’s just a tip because like I said, who loves ya?

Till later,

Jacque - Out

Ok, I’ve had it!  With Windows Vista.  I’ve got this great speedy notebook with lot’s O’ mammary memory and the dang operating system still bogs down.

I’ve been patient, apply all the patches, talk to it nice and even give it nice little computer treats every once in a while.

But dang it!   When I have to turn off, unplug and pull the battery once in a while to “flush”, it’s a pain in the tookie.

So tomorrow (Thursday) it’s supposed to be a rainy day and I’m gonna do it.  Kick back, slide in a nice fresh new XP Professional CD and let it do some magic while I….

What *will* I do?  Study?  Naaa.  Hmm, maybe I’ll pop a beer and clean a bicycle.  Yea!  I like that idea.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

I started rebuilding the Trek 1100 on Monday at the Pedals to People shop.

Trek 1100 on the stand

I have to admit that I was a bit worried about what to do.  I’ve never gotten too deep into bicycle repair so this is a pretty big step for me.

Upon arrival, Mike said that the first thing to do is to clean it (the bike was stored in a barn for 5+ years).  Besides being dusty the lubricant on the chain and derailleurs had turned to glue.  A bit of de-greaser, old toothbrush and rag did the trick.  The chain was left to soak till next week.

Next, Jeff showed me how to change the shifter cables.  It wasn’t as difficult as I imagined.

With a nice clean machine and clean components the next steps are to true the wheels, put it back together and then tune it up.

I hope to have this project done by next Monday.  Then I’ll treat the o-so-helpful mechanics to a beer at the Rocket Market across the street.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

I’m beginning to wonder about my cat Earl.   It has recently been brought to my attention that he may be like Sylar from the television series Heros.

The resemblance is shocking. Shocking!

Let’s compare the two:

• Earl likes to catch birds and squirrels and eat their heads.
• Syler likes to kill people, cut open their heads and steal their powers

• Earl has claws
• Syler has eyebrows that are shaped like claws

• Earl has whiskers but doesn’t shave
• Sylers has whiskers and needs to shave more often

If I see my cat start to fly and/or go down a tree trunk head first (And no, I’m not referring to him falling. Fartknocker!) I’m thinking we’ve got trouble and should call the National Guard or Sarah Palin.

Till later, unless my kat eats my head

Jacque - Out

um - meow?

I’ve always been one to do what I want to do.   What I’m trying to say is that if there’s something I’ve always wanted to do I’ve found a way to do it.

As I get older that list is getting smaller till one day I’ll be “mostly” done.  I say mostly because there will always be new things that will come up and there’s a few that are pretty difficult to accomplish (like go into space).

For example, I’ve always wanted a go fast bike and still want to do a cross country bicycle tour.  Like Pat said, it was a good thing the ‘ole UPS truck (my beloved heavy bicycle) was stolen.  If not I would have put off purchasing new wheels for long, long time.  Now I actually have a go fast bike and a touring bike.

Next on the list?  Radio DJ. I did a gig once with 103.1 when it first came to town and I seem to recall being pretty bad.  The main crew as some dude that called himself Marty McFly, a girl who’s name I don’t recall and Mark Peterson (when he was between television stations).  I think I lasted two visits before not being invited back again.   I seem to recall being dry and boring (hard to believe, I know.

So I just got done applying for Spokane’s River 99.9 Open Waters.  Basically a guest DJ.  I probably won’t be as entertaining as the Radio Men or Dr. Demento but promise to mix it up.  Jack Johnson? Pah!  I’m thinking some Trailer Park Girls, Dixie Chicks and even some Hedwig soundtrack.

We’ll see.

If they let me play It’ll like be totally awesome if I can ride my bike there and drink beer while I do it.

How cool is that?

I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

Till later,

Jacque - Out

Found something that was pretty much irreplaceable.